Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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