I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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