is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
