You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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