Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
