is your mom at the bar?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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