Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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