I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
