Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
