Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize