Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize