Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
