It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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