Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
