Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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