Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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