Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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