well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
