Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
