i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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