My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
