Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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