I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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