i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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