Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
