Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
