What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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