everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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