Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize