I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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