he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
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the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My butt remains clenched, sir.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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