Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if you like me you must not know who I am
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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