how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
