Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
