is your mom at the bar?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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