yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
