Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
