Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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