The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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