There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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