it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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