So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
