Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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