I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My liver just broke up with me...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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