Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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