Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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