just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
