Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
