I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Blood and glitter go together right?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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