is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
