Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you will always have a special place in my vag
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
this is an emotional support booty call
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.