Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  needless to say I left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard. (203): needless to say I left http://tfl.nu/ueme
  Replies (15) Good night (876) Bad night (3063)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend. http://tfl.nu/c0jn
  Replies (55) Good night (4322) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it http://tfl.nu/jng0
  Replies (32) Good night (4480) Bad night (2040)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out. http://tfl.nu/sq7d
  Replies (6) Good night (3335) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her? http://tfl.nu/6uxs
  Replies (8) Good night (1310) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity http://tfl.nu/y6wz
  Replies (4) Good night (1156) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs. http://tfl.nu/vdej
  Replies (9) Good night (610) Bad night (1256)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real http://tfl.nu/mhxe
  Replies (4) Good night (1439) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z
  Replies (9) Good night (595) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker http://tfl.nu/7qsu
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex... http://tfl.nu/l03p
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness. http://tfl.nu/lky4
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick http://tfl.nu/wl0y
  Replies (6) Good night (291) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs http://tfl.nu/h31c
  Replies (5) Good night (341) Bad night (134)

Randomize