i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
