We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
