shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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