worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
