But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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