Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
