I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize