I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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