Its about making memories worth repressing
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
